Crown and diadems have long been used to distinguish an honorable man in public. Kings, queens, and champions were easily recognized by these ornaments that lay upon their brows. History also reveals that in the infant stages of the Olympic Games, a laurel wreath was placed upon the head of the games’ victor. Without a doubt, a crown has always been viewed as a symbol of honor and respect. Therefore, it comes as no surprise when King Solomon uses this imagery to emphasize the value honoring a parent truly has for a child. In his portrait drawn by his words, Solomon describes this magnificent crown as “the instruction of your father, and…the law of your mother” (Proverbs 1:8). The king (portraying himself as a father advising his son) is emulated by the apostle Paul in his address to the children of Ephesus (Ephesians 6:1-2). It is interesting to see that both men were able to understand what the true definition of honoring a parent is. This becomes visible by the future tense in which the blessing is presented by both of the inspired authors. It is wise to notice and comprehend the purpose of phrasing their words in this manner. To begin to decipher this code, we must first begin by learning the difference between obeying a parent and honoring a parent. Obedience is defined as the act of following a command; to conform to or comply with (Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary). The same source defines honor as a respect that is given to someone who is admired. When comparing these two definitions, it becomes abundantly clear that they are not the same; however, one can lead to the other. In his letter to the Ephesians, Paul begins his explanation by exhorting “children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right” (Ephesians 6:1). Observe how the apostle states that following a parents command is the correct thing to do; “in the Lord.” The apostle alludes to the words spoken by our heavenly Father in regards to Abraham. The Father knew that His friend would insure that his children and grandchildren would “keep the way of the Lord, to do righteousness and justice” (Genesis 18:19). The obedience that Abraham would attain from his offspring was one that became honorable. The people of Israel took pride in being called the descendants of father Abraham. For them, the act of circumcision was an honorable one because it confirmed them as a part of Abraham’s children. Yet, it is important not to ignore that obedience does not always translate into honor. In His words about Abraham’s achievement, Jehovah God clarifies what made it honorable. The children of Abraham would not only conform to and comply with his ordinances, but in doing so they would learn to be righteous and just in their lives. They would be trained by Abraham how to be holy before God, but willfully following his instructions they would learn how to remain holy before God in his absence. This is where God’s fifth commandment is fully explained. A parent is honored when his child emulates his good example in his absence. Let us recall that Solomon refers to the instruction and law (that is to say “direction”) of the child’s parents as the crown if he embraces it. Notice that the king tells his reader that he should “hear the instruction of your father” and “not forsake the law of your mother” (Proverbs 1:8). He is making a vehemence on the necessity he will have of them when they are no longer there by his side. Paul also speaks of a future time when the parents will not be there to guide the child directly, except that the apostle reveals what this “ornament of grace” actually looks like. He quotes the fifth commandment to encourage the Ephesian children to be obedient and claims it to be “the first commandment with promise” (Ephesians 6:2). In the immediate context, the apostle reveals that the “promise” is a long life that is lived well (Ephesians 6:3). Undoubtedly, the apostle is directly quoting Deuteronomy 5:16, but is also illustrating the results of embracing a godly parents advice. In Spanish there is a saying that says, “El que toma consejo, llega a viejo” (He who heeds advice, shall reach an old age). It is no secret that no person would follow the advice of someone they do not respect nor admire. It is also true that obedience done in reverence is more fruitful than obedience done with disgust and resentment. The prior is able to acquire knowledge and understanding as to why he was instructed to do what he did; the later simply follows his commands lacking any interest or motivation to inquire about the matter. Here is why Solomon describes
accepting parental advise with a loving heart as honorable. Doing so (teaches the wise king) will allow you to learn how to live a long, prosperous life. This illuminates the reason why God commanded His children to honor father and mother. Honoring them is not limited to obedience only; rather it expands into one day the children being able to “repay their parents” in their old age (1st Timothy 5:4). This is what the apostle describes as filial honor; the ability to understand and imitate the love exhibited by the parent. A child that honors his parents is not one who “does not provide for his own” which the apostle describes he who does this as someone who has “denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1st Timothy 5:8). In other words, a person who denies his parent the love and care that he was given is disgraceful; he is dishonorable. These ungrateful children are typically the ones who have been disobedient their entire lives. The pride of wanting to live their lives rebelliously and in selfishness leads them to a life of bitterness. Their dishonorable way of life is shunned by the Father since “cursed is the one who treats his father or his mother with contempt” (Deuteronomy 27:16). To treat a parent “with contempt” is to despise or forsake a parent. The Master accused the Pharisees of this action in exposing their hypocrisy of denying any help to their parents by proclaiming that it was “a gift to God” (Matthew 15:3-6). Therefore, we are taught by God’s word that to honor a parent is not simply to obey his or her command; it is to always fondly remember them and their advice, but to also repay them generously for their love and devotion in our rearing. It is to become them and emulate them to one day attain their honorable, gray haired crown.